25 LESSONS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 25 – Real Life Experiences

Every new year comes with so many expectations and resolutions that many people work on to achieve a certain goal. Since New Year’s Resolutions are often easily broken, I don’t usually create them because I simply don’t believe in a sudden change at the end or beginning of the year. I tend to focus on my dedication to becoming the best version on myself each day, especially after the end of each year, by reflecting on my past experiences, seeing how they have made me who I am today, and how I can also grow, overall as an individual. This is mainly because my birthday is January 1st. That’s right. On January 1st, 2020, I turned 25.

Since I literally mature in age at the beginning of every year, my own version of the New Year’s Resolution is my birthday.

Before turning 25, I had my life planned in a certain way. For example, I hoped to be financially stable, moved out of state, and to have a mindset that sets me free so I can figure out who I am without any societal limits. Some of these are happening but, being financially stable and creating my own business is a whole different story, especially acknowledging the fact that most people in my generation are drowning in student loan debt (story for another day, lol). I believe I’m on the right track though.

Looking back, I have gone through so much that have taught me some valuable lessons, and I would love to share them with you. I find it very important to look back at how far we have come, for we find more gratitude by doing that. So, without further ado, here are the 25 lessons I learned before turning 25, that I would like to share with you, in hopes of helping you to become your greatest version as well.

1. Life is Not All Rainbows

I know many of you might have known this truth at such a young age, but boy, did this take me so long to realize! In my early teens, before turning 18, I thought I was in my own world; I thought I could ignore everything negative, simply because I could, which worked fine for me. I was so naïve and clueless. It all hit me at once in my college dorm. I realized I had been in such a bubble back then. In a whole semester, I came to realize how much injustice happened all around the world. It would take me forever to discuss how crazy I see the world as now, but life is just not all rainbows.

As we grow up, we go through different challenges that make us stronger. Going through such experiences helped me to realize how our world is set up, and how I can help make it a better place.

2. Not Everything is Permanent

At times, there will be sadness, depression, stress, and they can all even hit you at once. In those instances are when you MUST stay STRONG and keep your head up.

Of course, there are some exceptions to this phrase, but most experiences will pass as long as you work towards getting out of the situation. It could be a common cold, it could be school issues, work, life in general, or even friendship. The world isn’t fair, and sometimes it is definitely not a happiest place to be, and that feeling is what could actually slow you down. But always remember that what you’re going through is not all there is . You need to eventually fight for your happiness during your hardest times.

3. Work on Your Strength Each Day to Be Able to Handle Your Biggest Challenges.

Some challenges are unbearable, some are in fact bigger than others. From experience, I have actually said “this is the worst challenge I’ve had” before. Yet, newer challenges happen and I sometimes go insane. Throughout that process, always remember that you are strong enough to handle it all.

4. Some Things Just Don’t Always Go the Way You Want Them To

You could literally have the best intentions and motives, you could truly believe in your heart that this one way of communication or solution will help solve it all, and the disappointment just hits you when you realize that people have their own minds. You simply can’t force anyone to think a certain way, even if you truly know that your way will help solve anything.

The same idea also goes for life as well.

5. Be Your Own Priority

Trust me, nobody will do this for you. You have to learn to prioritize yourself on a lot of things. This is a great way to just learn about who you truly are. Some people would say it’s a bit selfish, but I call it self care. You are a very important human being, and you need some time for yourself to reevaluate yourself and learn the possible ways of discovering yourself. Get that beauty sleep if you need to, learn to go to places individually if that’s something you would love to do more often. Just always remember that you matter, so pamper yourself a little when you can.

6. It’s Okay to Lose People & Let Them Go

They could be your closest friends who would tell you ‘you’ve changed”, so they just take you out of their circle. You’re damn right, I’ve changed! Changed for the better, to be precise. These people don’t end there after saying that. They actually stop talking to you, and that’s okay. I was in a deep depression for several years when I realized I had lost all the friends I thought I could count on. I wouldn’t want to go into much detail, but shout out to the National Suicide Prevention Line (1-800-273-8255) for all their help talking me out of negative thoughts. I have gone through so much and learned too much throughout college to be told I’m still the same. I have grown up to be ‘woke’, mature, experienced, sophisticated & more fierce than ever! I think I’m definitely on the path of becoming my own greatest version. And trust me, some friends are seasonal. Focusing on your mental health is the most important. Don’t even worry about friends who criticize you so much and limit you only to their expectations of you. If it works to confront some important friends who can be on the same terms with you, that’s worth a shot, but just let them go if they always criticize you.

Just to add to this, if you’ve lost all your friends during depression, learn to gradually allow yourself to explore your new world and the people around once you’ve finally fought that constant negative state of mind. You will find the right people eventually.

7. Let Negativity Motivate You

I truly see that so much of our negative thoughts comes from within. However, I also believe that society is a huge part of it. I love the saying that goes “if you have something negative to say, then don’t say it at all”, but so many people just don’t get it. I understand that it’s very important to be honest, but that’s not what this is about. People sometimes just feel the need to tell you something negative; you can’t do this, you can’t do that, you are from here, so you must act this way. Such communications eventually create a negative outlook about life for a lot fo people. Where is the freedom? Next time someone tells you to do certain things to make you fit in, use that as your way to focus more on what you would rather do, and do it.

8. Stay Different and Be True to Yourself

It’s very important to learn to be cordial around others and set a good example for those around you. We are all different in our own ways, so staying who you are is what helps to make a difference in this world. You don’t always have to blend in. Sometimes, blending in could causes peer pressure. Peer pressure is a hell of a drug. If to much pressure made you speak to others with the same negativity they spoke to you, due to the desperation to blend in, you would just be one of “they” (DJ Khalid voice)

9. Focus on Your Goals

Need I say More?

10. Acknowledge and Embrace the Good Things That Come Your Way

Don’t let the negativity you’re fighting against blind you from actually seeing who is with you during your worst times. It is so hard to think positive, but please try your best. Those thoughts are the only ones to get your mind off the negative experiences happening in your life.

11. Stay Open Minded and Expand Your Horizons

Explore the world whenever you have the chance. Exposing your mind to new experiences broadens your mind, and gives you the chance to learn about other cultures. If traveling isn’t your way of doing that, figure it out; read blogs, books, anything that helps to acknowledge the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around only your set of beliefs and ways of growing up. You can even learn to better yourself through different cultures. The world needs minds like yours!

12. Positive & Genuine Family & Friends Take You a Long Way

Some people are simply God-sent. Sometimes, support is all you need to succeed, and to help make the world a better place. Those who truly believe in you can help you get out of your comfort zone, and to become the best person you can ever be, just because they believed in you. Keep those people around. They are such a blessing!!

13. Personal Growth is Very Important

This is a gradual & doable process. If you are willing to work on this, you can learn new things about yourself and life almost every day. For me, a recent personal growth that I have been working on is trying not to react to everything that gets on my nerves. I am learning to stay calm and collected to anything that makes me angry or upset. Simply taking in deep breaths or switching the topic could help with this. My goal is to always stay untroubled in many situations.

One step at a time, you can work on being more confident, being more consistent at something, or even reducing how much you procrastinate. These are great skills that can also take you a long way.

14. You Can’t Please Everyone

Sis, Bro, just do your thing. Get your mind off of those who just act so disappointed in you no matter what you do. It’s not you, it’s them.

15. Don’t Let Societal Needs Affect You So Much

I used to get so angry at every gender role comment I received by society. I simply felt so limited as a human being. I’ve been told only women wash dishes, only women should cook and clean, and I’ve been questioned about my femininity by playing the Mortal Kombat video game. Trust me, there are more intense ones, but these are just basic examples. I’m exploring so much that society generally limits females from doing and I’m loving them. Just do you. Do not feel limited or limit yourself from certain things just because you’ve heard you shouldn’t do them. You have to try them out first to decide that for yourself. Cheers to more explorations without limits.

16. Choose The Right Friends

This is the hardest thing to do, but don’t force friendships with anyone. It just won’t last. It should come naturally and genuinely. Do not ignore your gut feelings about certain people. If you are a highly intuitive person like me, sometimes, you just know that some friends just won’t last. Do not ignore your intuitions. Confrontation is key, but don’t overdo it if the friendship just isn’t working out. Some people would deny any friendship issues when you confront them. Others will always apologize for what they do to you but keep doing it. I always think it’s better having lesser genuine friends than a lot of toxic ones. Be careful.

17. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Humans compare themselves so much to others; from relationships, to career paths, to body images. This can be so distracting! Try focusing on yourself. You start losing yourself when you compare so much. I know this can be very tricky sometimes, especially when you are at a low point in your life, but the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Try reducing this as much as you can.

18. Give Those Who Show That They Care About You a Chance

This is rare, but some people are sometimes very genuine. Give them a chance to let them help you out when you need the help. You may feel like a bother, but sometimes, they just have good intentions in helping you.

19. Your Soul Mate May Come Into Your Life the Least You Expect It

Just do you for now. As Jada Pinkett said, ‘You are your soulmate and someone can join in on that fun.” You never know, but you can find them in the process of finding yourself.

20. Trust Your Instincts

You have to stop ignoring your gut feelings. Your intuitions could take you on the right path of success. It’s such a good protector.

21. Work Hard

Like I said earlier, nobody will do it for you. I truly believe in hard work as a way to accomplish a certain goal. Think of going to the gym for example. Work hard and smart.

22. Take Care of Yourself

You have to give yourself some time to recharge and to listen to your body. This is such a hard process, but when this becomes a habit, you sometimes end up functioning better. This could be anything; from eating healthier, to de-stressing, to going to the gym a little more often, to drinking more water for a better skin.

23. It’s Okay to Restart Life

By the summer of 2019, I literally had to restart my blog. I had to take everything down. I had to rewrite certain parts of my older posts. I had to find my old blogging pictures all over again. I almost quit blogging because this was devastating. I later took the first few steps, and now I am happy to say that my website might be bigger than it’s ever been. Sometimes, certain mistakes make us come back smarter and stronger! This happens in life. You can sometimes lose that job, but keep fighting. You can restart better than ever.

24. Embrace the Friends Who Stick by Your Side Through It All

Friends who stick with you through it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly are rare but worth it. Having a few friends who stick by your side during your hardest times are so great. They also handle change so well, because they understand that it is simply part of our lives as we get older. They could be family or friends. Hold on tight to these people, but do not mistaken them for fair-weathered and the foul-weathered friends; those who would stick with you only when things are great, and those who stick with you only when things aren’t going well for you. Let’s not also forget those who always need you just for their own benefits. Genuine friends are all that matter.

25. Don’t Give Up

Personally, I have had to learn so much in the recent years since I was in my own bubble before college. Sometimes, I just feel like I learn slowly, and that I will never catch up. I am now learning to ignore all the negative thoughts in my head. If I don’t explore the world now, I will always be clueless, and that possibility doesn’t sit well with me.

This goes with anything else in life. Dream big and work on all your dreams. Own them and don’t let anything block you from your vision. Keep going, and you’ll eventually start seeing results.

Now that you’ve read all this, shout out to you for making all the necessary progress you have to make to feel good about yourself. I hope you enjoyed this post.

What are some important lessons you’ve learned over the past years?

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